ANGER IS OK...ITS A PROCESS,JUST PUT A TAB ON IT!

'When you feel angry do not let it  be hidden'... This might sound a lot different from a typical advice of 'do not show it Honey', but believe me anger can be an outlet. A powerful outlet for your soul. It is like a window that has the capacity to let in fresh air,if you only open it wide enough to let the bad air out.

Somehow we have to admit it to ourselves and to others to find that our healing starts.Often time,  all of these have a way of cooling our stance in the situation that we find ourselves.

While angry you have to be careful to handle yourself appropriately because there is always a thin line  between the good and the bad that can accrue from that outlet. This is because in being angry,you may have the edge and the ability to have all the aces and yet loose someone you love through that same outlet.It is just like treating cancer.You have to kill the cells but if care is not taken,you can also kill the human.So,in dealing with anger you are the doctor.You have to be watchful and observant and not let your sensitivities go. That person you are angry with is extremely important and what you can do by wielding the sword can extract or kill.

Anger is indeed liberating  depending on the perspective you choose to see it.Anger is  a feeling that we  seem  to easily learn to hide.It could bring immense gratification if we can really internalise how to feel the feeling and still channel it aright to achieve what we want to achieve with it and also get better  relationships and understanding from the people we love.

This is true because it is when others learn  about the things that we do not want them to do to us that they can keep a checkmate on them and learn to relate  with us  and figure out the way  to make "us"(our relationships with them) work.

I think we have always seen anger in a bad way.That is why we have also labelled it to assume a monster status.However it can be the only way we discover afresh how to negotiate our lives for the better.Anger is a strong negotiation tool for the kind of life we want, plus the things that we desire.Being angry can be  likened to sitting at that table with the other person and trying to meet them at a middle point to be able to get our desires.

Surprisingly as i write this piece i logged into an application( message from God) on my social networking site and was greeted with these powerful words: "On this day of your life, Destiny, we believe God wants you to know ... that although forgiveness is very hard, it is necessary.Holding onto anger and old hurts hardens your heart and hurts only you. Ask for help in letting go of the anger. Ask to see the situation through the eyes of compassion. Allow yourself to feel the lightness of forgiveness"-how liberating!

I have heard that heat and pressure makes diamonds.That's just how real the reality of anger should be to us. When we are at the receiving end, it is often difficult to see it in a good light; especially since the pressure is on us.But if we can  remember that anger is the rough on the diamond and wait it out,listen to the words of the soul without judging,try to understand the emotions in the heart,put ourselves in the other person's  place and swap roles ...maybe,like finding the diamond,we would find the bridge that would take us to a refreshing new start.

BE THE ARTISTE

A small piece is rising in my soul and it is one that should motivate you.However, it comes right down in my  heart like the words in a poem ,making this part  of  me come alive.More than anything i wish it brings you also to a depth of encouragement so much so  that you will do just what you need to do to recreate or create.                                                                                        


Like Shakespeare, if you have ever met a writer's block or even wanted to act like Genevieve Nnaji and Angelina Jolie but can't even piece your art together or maybe even got stuck on one point in life's mystery lane;i remind you:

picture by:Joshua Obiakoeze

"When it doesn't seem like everything is okay,that's when you have to pull back and thank your  stars.

When the going gets all uphill,that's when you have to muster enough stamina to beat the odds.

When the night is darkest,that's when you have to count on the rays of dawn to bring the difference.

When the clouds seem full with rain,that's when you can count on the grey beauty of the skies to show.

When you feel tired than most,that's when you can trust in the strength of resting a while".

...Most often,there will be the bleakness of  life and the tiring resurgence of the negatives.But remember it is not just about the negatives that we get thrown rather the capacity in our minds  to create  a more rewarding reality even in the midst of it all.


There, lies true living and the understanding that will upscale  the momentary phase.To be happy,much depends on  the power of the creativity of your mind.Like the bright sky,let your picture come alive.

BE THE ARTISTE...Give your best shot!

BIRTHDAY IDEAS FOR THE 9TH OF DECEMBER OR ANY OTHER DAY!

Birthdays are special times when we get in touch with our personal roots.Old or Young,there is always something about our birth days that warm our hearts.This customised feeling is usually just there even when you do not feel like throwing the wildest parties to celebrate.Deciding to give it full reign or not calls to mind some 'user discretion', depending on how modest you want  or not want to be.

photo:Destiny,Kaduna,Nigeria

 

Now, far from making you feel like your birthday is not on the 9th of December yours is actually so special i had to share. In-fact, this birthday idea was generated as a birthday gift for a friend who was born on the 23rd of of October and should come handy for your special day just like mine.So whether you are born on the 9th,23rd or any other day and month of the year,you should feel as special knowing you deserve the best of your beautiful day.

In trying to get the best birthday activities for that grand day ,i revel in putting together ideas to rev up your day.I hope it becomes my Birthday gift to you.

Whether you are naturally bubbly with a spilling joyful disposition or a quiet wise soul,the fun will be to carry out these activities just the way they are and 'add some'  rather than to subtract any.While some may not be entirely you,trying them out may bring out a part of you that you never knew existed.Perhaps you  may realise you do have a little child,a funny side,or even a naughty side  inside you after all.

Its not an exhausted list and you should really add some...So here we go.Some birthday activities for FABULOUS YOU:

* Be a child. Hang balloons outside your door... And make a wish.

*Buy a birthday cake that is boldly written something like:'Destiny is 42 and fabulous' in your favorite colors and get it delivered 1st thing in the morning- eat some piece.In fact,eat lots of pieces'

*Call up your mom and tell her today is your birthday and you are grateful she made the choice to introduce you to the world...send her  a gift that will coincide with the time of the call.

*Buy someone else a present...preferably someone who makes you most happy.

*Write up a list of ten things you are grateful for this year. After writing it out,close your eyes and send some words of gratitude to God. Afterward,dab a little of your favorite perfume on the sheet and burn it up as a sacrifice of thanksgiving...not so much as to burn your house down cos i will not be there to help you call fire service!

*Take yourself out and buy yourself a good meal...if possible have a blind date!

*See a movie. A really good movie. A very interesting and inspiring movie or one that you have been dying to see.

*Look through old photos of friends and family and have a laugh. You will be surprised how much that will mean to you.

*Have a game session with a friend or loved one and try not to loose..its your birthday !

*Have  a reconnection time even if you do not want a party :let your kids or friends (or you can do that with any one) take turns to tell you what they like about you,while you seat at the centre on a chair.Most preferably if they get to write them out and read them to you...you would be surprised at the emotion and the bonding.

*Read psalm 139 .Go to the mirror,smile.Keep smiling and say aloud seven times:'i am blessed and i am a gift to the world'...looking straight into your own eyes.

*Play your favorite music.Still thinking about all the good stuffs that has happened  to you this year or that you are grateful for, close your eyes and dance alone or Just simply enjoy the rythm.

*If you are able to get done all the items  on this list,do whatever else gives you joy. And after all goes down today,when you turn in and on bed,think about the joys of today and your life. With a smile on your face, send a gratitude kiss to heaven,turn over and have a good night rest!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

 

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